Self-indulgence

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I’ve been self-indulgent. And needed it. I’m sitting in a hotel, overlooking a beautiful view where the trees surround and seem to hug the lake within. The colors are so rich and vibrant they fill my senses in a way no vitamin could, but my body desperately needed. It’s been two full days of time. Alone. I’ve barely left my room. I watched the entire season of Orange is the New Black. That’s 13 episodes friends! Laazaaay and loving it. I had lots of plans to write, read, and catch up with my life. But I listened to my body that clearly said REST!!!  I should add that I’ve been very sick for a couple of weeks now, and that’s no good for anyone, especially Lulu.

The summer left Jimmy and I exhausted, and I think the almost 2-year battle with Lulu’s cancer is still catching up. It doesn’t feel right. She should be done by now, and have her port removed. She’s been doing so well… Yet, it will rear its ugly head again tomorrow when I take her in for her monthly treatment with spinal tap, chemo, and steroids … 6-ish more months and counting.

There was no time for even a small vacation this summer with Jimmy working on The Surface movie, gone physically and/or mentally for eight weeks. It was awesome seeing him in his glory though, as he commanded quiet respect from the cast and crew, working diligently, intensely and uncomplainingly to create the best possible outcome. I did makeup a few days on the set, and was glad to be able to see it all in action. There was a tangible excitement, especially from the local crew, enjoying this process despite its great demands. One of my personal highlights was working with Mimi Rogers; a true gem. She was so open about her life, even sharing pictures of her beautiful children with me. She’s gorgeous too, even as the ‘earthy’ character she plays.

While Jimmy was engulfed, I held down the fort, hanging with the kids and their summer activities, giving daily meds, and working. I’ve become very unhealthily attached to my phone, working between/among the bustle of life. This realization became clear when a friend told me she knows she loves that she can text me at any time and I’ll always respond immediately. Hmmm, that might be a compliment, but I know I must wean. Between my beauty editor job, freelance work and my book, that phone has become an additional appendage (Did I mention The What if Book was published? I’ll make a big announcement in my next entry, just act surprised, ok?)! [Note to self: work on marketing skills]

I have one more hour of alone time, so I’m going to sign off now. I’ve really missed writing to you, and writing in general. I know this entry itself was a bit self-indulgent, but I think everyone should allow a little time for self-care … I hope this gives you an excuse to take some for yourself.

Love,

T.Marie and a.l.l. of us

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6 Comments

  1. carol curley

     /  September 23, 2013

    Well deserved. As was that giant strawberry malt that you said was yogurt! xo carol

    Reply
  2. T, I love that you did this. I love that you just watched TV. I love that you stayed in your room for two days. And I love that you did not feel guilty. That certainly would have ruined everything. Thanks for confirming it’s really okay…..and healthy. There are times I stay in for two days and just watch TV, sometimes telling myself I should be reading instead. But it’s so yummy to escape into one of the series that are a bit addicting. I’ve been wondering about Orange is the New Black. I streamed it, but haven’t checked it out yet. Will do it now, guilt free, all at one time, when I need that escape into solitude. Good for you for trusting what your body was telling you!! And for enjoying yourself!!!!!

    Reply
    • Thanks for the support Carrie! I’m shocked at how many people, moms AND Dads could use some solitude. But we don’t take it. I’ve been trying to go for months, but didn’t make/take the time. I was getting really sick, and had to listen to my body. I wish we would all do it more often. And without guilt!
      Warmly,
      T. Marie

      Reply
  3. Naps and Netflix are highly under-rated! Hugs.

    Reply

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