An eventful day

Yesterday turned out to be an eventful day.  I got a phone call from my Dad, who had gone back home for a while.  He told us his wife’s granddaughter, Kaylee, had been severely burned in a campfire accident.  Apparently, one of the kids at the bonfire had thrown a large log onto the fire, which in turn threw a large burning log onto Kaylee.  Somehow, she had the presence of mind to jump into the lake, and the kids put wet towels on her.  She was burned on her thigh, side and chin and sent to the hospital.  It looks like she will make a full recovery, minus some scarring.  We are keeping her in our prayers.

Then late to clinic for Lulu’s spinal tap and chemo, we were bumped back.  This meant we’d have to wait even longer before she could eat.  After a minimally dramatic port access, we waited for her blood work to come back.  An announcement came over the loudspeaker calling out a CODE BLUE on the H.O.T. unit.  Oh no.  I thought I recognized the room number.  Maybe it’s familiar because we were right next to Bo’s room last time?  That’s it, right?  I asked the nurses and doctors, realizing full well they couldn’t disclose information about another patient, and I was putting them in an awkward position.  I continued to ask anyway, hoping to see some glimmer of confirmation or denial in their eyes.  Let me tell you these guys would all make for great poker players; not a twitch or a tell to be found.  I texted his mom, but no response.  Must wait.

Lulu’s ANC was only 250, so there’s no way we were starting treatment that day, and probably shouldn’t have set up a play date and dance class for the week!  I practically threw a bagel at Lu, who started devouring it.  Sometimes it still seems strange to see her eat!  After exam, learning the new protocol to come, and getting prescriptions called in, we are told we can go, and come back Monday for treatment.

I knew I was on the visitor list for Bo, so I casually asked at the security desk which room he was in.  My fears were confirmed.  Shit.  He’s been moved to ICU.  We later get a text from his mom that he’s had a seizure and they are doing a cat scan.  They’ve found something in his brain, but have to do an MRI to find out what.  I can imagine the terror his mom and he is feeling.  I was praying he might be sleeping during all of it.  They have to wait to find out the results, and are hoping it’s not leukemia in his brain.  Oh, that waiting for MRI results … brings me back to when Lu was so sick when her appendix burst, but we didn’t know yet.  Waiting is absolute agony.  I got another text at almost 10:30 pm from Bo’s mom sharing the news that it’s a complication from his medications that cause extremely high blood pressure.  It may be reversible, and they are treating it.  We were relieved, but still concerned, and continue to send them as much strength as possible.

Most of you don’t know Bo personally.  But I share his story because I feel like he’s everyone’s child.  He has the kind of beautiful spirit that makes you feel like you know him, he reminds you of your own precious child, or the one you hope you have.  He’s kind, sweet, strong and loving.  These kids really are all of our children.  I used to think this stuff happened to other people.  How naïve, and how superior!  It really can be any of us, at any time.  We’re all in this together.  If this sounds a bit maudlin or preachy …  I can’t help but be moved to by this year and the events that continue to unfold.

Lulu was shaken up as well, and I wish I could protect her from this madness … and that I would have been better able to hide my own emotions.  We are careful about what we say, but these situations have become a part of our everyday lives.  She said she was praying for Bo, and worried about him.  She wants him to be able to go home soon.

We are still trying to put emotion into action and had another successful lemon-aid stand, this time at our church.  We raised $600 in 2 hours for children’s cancer research.  Thank you for those of you who donated online as well, that helped a lot!  Jazz Pharmaceuticals donated $1000 to the MACC clinic at Children’s on our behalf, for Lulu’s photo shoot.  Many of you are raising money in races, biking, walking, running, swimming, and we are so touched by your efforts, and proud that you wear LULU on your shirts as you race.

Thank you, also, to the wonderful doctors and nurses at Children’s.  I neglected to mention Lulu had a party at clinic on her last day of delayed intensification.  It was her official last day of shots, and Bonnie, along with the other nurses, made a huge sign for her with balloons, candy and presents to celebrate.  THANK YOU.  I’m continually impressed with the care and thought you all put into your jobs.  You are still by our side for every scream, every tantrum, every hug and every giggle.  I don’t know how you can deal with the love and the loss your jobs entail, but I am grateful to have you.  And humbled by the strength you have to keep on loving, despite the risks to your own hearts.

Thank you all for reading, acting and sharing your hearts with not only Lulu, but with all of the Kate’s, the Joshua’s and the Bo’s of the world . . .

Love,

a.l.l. of us

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Update and Lemon-Aid tomorrow

Hello,

Just a quick update today.  We will be doing another lemon-aid stand at our church, all proceeds go to childhood cancer research: Sunday (tomorrow) July 15 from 11-1.
To donate to Love for Lulu:
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=HWVDDTBWNFYDE

Otherwise, not too much to report.  We’ve had a week off of treatment since Lu’s counts didn’t make it to start Maintenance Treatment.  We can tell some drugs are leaving her system and she’s showing wonderful signs of her true self.  She’s still having some tantrums, but after speaking with some of you who have 5-year-old girls, it doesn’t sound as out of the ordinary.  – or you’re just trying to make me feel better (you are).  My favorite line from Lulu this week came after I asked her to just TRY not to overreact to every little thing.  She responded very dramatically, hands waving in the air: “But Mama, I CAAAN’T!!!  It’s just how I WORK!!!”

Keeping it real as always, Jimmy and I had a date last week where we ended up ‘discussing’ (as my parents always called it) during the whole thing!  We discussed at the first restaurant starting with politics, on through dessert at the next stop. We went into everything we haven’t been able to cover in the last 8 months… just another way cancer affects a family; little time to communicate.  I guess we got it all out in one night, and we were able to tease each other about it the next day.  Now we can’t wait for the next date :-).

Jimmy’s mom is visiting after having what we hope is successful back surgery, so we have a full house here.  We are looking forward to setting up playdates for Lulu.  Her counts should be good enough from here on out to enter a normal-ish zone where she can play with healthy kids! Travels are ahead for hubby, and work is heating up for me so playdates are extra helpful, and heck knows Lulu needs to play with someone other than us!

I’ll write more soon, lots to do this weekend.  Hope to see you drinking lemonade tomorrow!

Love to you ALL

Reaching Bittersweet Maintenance

Image,

Hello Friends,

It always feels difficult to get started on these entries, but once the words begin to come, they do seem to pour out.  Today, I’ll start where I finished last; the lemon-aid stand.  I think we’re all still feeling the joy from that day.  We got up early, wiped the sleepy dust from our eyes and started cleaning, peeling and juicing to make the lemon-lime-strawberry concoction. We couldn’t just have regular ol’ lemonade … it had to be PINK!  We made gallons of it, and it was tasty!  As Jimmy documented every move on video, we somehow opened promptly at 10 o’clock.  It was hot but bearable outside, eased by the cloud-cover overhead.  Customers were ready at the wait, and came in droves throughout the day.

We had special guest appearances by little Kate, who looked positively beautiful, and Toussaint from the ‘Seeing in Believing’ May blog entry!  Neighbors, friends, church members and blog readers came and populated our front and back yards with kids in tow (who generously brought money from their piggy banks).  Our local news even came out to do a story on us, which I’ll try to post soon.  They did a lovely job, and played it at both the 5pm and 10pm news with Lulu lead-ins during the Olympic trials.  We felt our community holding us up once again, and wished we’d had more time to talk to every person who came.  I actually lost my voice by the end of the day!  I’m thrilled to report that with your help, our little 3 1/2-hour lemonade stand raised $1,725.14 for childhood cancer research!  We are planning another one July 15th at our church and, by summer’s end, hope that we can really make a difference in either the H.O.T. unit or the Blood Research Institute.  We’re speaking to people now to find out where the money can best be utilized, and not be lost in the red tape of donationland.

We spent the 4th of July at the hospital, because, ya know we like to spend every holiday there ;-).  We happened to be right next to Bo’s room, and I felt terribly that he had to hear Lu screaming through her shots while he was already having a hard time.  He’s in a torturous pain from mucositis, but got his double-cord transplant successfully after multiple rounds of total body radiation.  Please keep the good juju coming for him that all goes well.

We talked about getting to Maintenance Therapy with the docs, and what it will entail for Lulu.  It’s not as easy breezy as I had hoped, and the conversation left me a bit deflated.  She will start off with a spinal tap with intrathecal chemo, and a lot more chemotherapy to follow.  She will get one chemo drug at home EVERY SINGLE DAY for 20 MONTHS along with others received regularly and intermittently.  She will also get steroids 5 days every month (hear inner scream) and more spinal taps.  Wow.  The good news is that we won’t have to go into the hospital nearly as much as of recent.  If all goes well, she will only go in once/month!  Now that’s huge!  Her beautiful blonde hair will start growing back, and she can go back to school in the fall.  Halle-freakin’-Lulu-ya!!! We have the end date penned into our calendars: March 6, 2014.

On the home front, Lu is still a little spitfire, but showing flashes here and there of her old sweet self.  I’ve sworn to move out when she is between the ages of 12-16, and return after.  I’ll still call, and skype.  – Maybe even have a weekend visit and holidays … just kidding (mostly)!  I really do adore her and she is my little Tinkerbell.  They make ‘em cute for a reason, right?  Jimmy is, well, Jimmy is … hmm, too many words to fit in here.  He’s been working harder than I’ve ever seen him work in my life.  I must track down his swim coaches and thank them, because I truly believe his training in college has prepared him for this both mentally and physically.  You see, Jimmy was a world-ranked distance swimmer, in the 800 and the mile.  Can you even imagine swimming a mile!?!  I’d be happy to jog a mile these days!  I think you’d have to be incredibly tough on all fronts to do this, and do it for years.  So, coach Bob and Jack, thank you.  Sports really do shape a person.

Oh, and I must include his biggest news:  He had a personal dream come true last week!  His favorite band in the entire world is the Foo Fighters, and he got to film them at a live concert!!!  He was just adorably giddy about it, really unlike him who plays it very cool most of the time.  I loved seeing that side of him and he wholly deserved it.  At one point while he was shooting, Dave Grohl almost knocked him over when he came flying up to his camera.  I think Jimmy told me about it at least 5 times.   – Love it!

I’ve been continuing to work part-time on my consulting job, and loving every minute of it.  Thanks Grandpa, for holding down the fort while I’m working at the coffee shop, which the family now knows as my c’office.  I feel like I’m overflowing with pent-up work energy, like a runner crouched in the starting position on the track before the gun is fired.  I’ve needed this outlet, and am so grateful to have it.  It adds balance to me, to Lulu and to the whole family dynamic.  Max has been taking a theater camp, and he too, seems to be bubbling over with enthusiasm.  He’s actually super talkative at the end of the day!  I get to ask him all kinds of questions and actually get a response, well, except when I ask him about girls.  That’s still off limits.  I guess he’s not interested yet (yay!).  On the contrary, Lulu already talks about her little friend Franklin saying things like “Mama, sometimes I fink I wuuuuv him!” followed by a cheeky giggle.

Well, dear Friends, we are getting there.  Wherever ‘there’ is.  Getting to Maintenance, getting to the new normal and whatever that will mean.  I’m hoping the forecast is light on rain, and heavy on rainbows.

Love,

a.l.l. of us