Full Circle

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(pic above, car ride to the Hospital for Lulu’s surgery)

Full Circle

http://chw.wistia.com/medias/1ebjs89ldn (Bell Ringing Full version- Professional Video from Children’s Hospital)

Today was a big day:  Lulu went back to school.  It’s a strange feeling and it’s still sinking in.  I feel on the verge of tears.  I’d hoped to feel elated and bouncing off the walls, but I mostly feel … gosh, I can’t even find the words to describe it.  I think it will take a while to process the 2.5 years living in Crazy Cancerland to moving back into a new normal.

Lulu’s surgery went well, but was more complicated than predicted.  The surgeon called us into THE ROOM” that you never want to go into, which brought back a flood of emotion and memories of her multiple shredded appendix-on-heavy-chemo surgeries.  Our zen-master 6-foot tall & beautiful female doc calmly informed us that the port removal was easy, but they had found 2 instead of one hernia, both of which were larger than anticipated and interlaced with omentum (fat the leaks through hernias).  Lulu’s recovery proved that point true, as she struggled to move at all the first two days and didn’t stand or walk until the 3rd day.  But our Little Tough bounced back quickly after that, reminding us of the incredible healing powers children have.

While at the hospital, I felt so lucky to have seen two nurses that have been a special part of our journey.  First Leann — who was there in the darkest times when we were in ICU — a girl I know I would have over for dinner, walks and java on the front porch if we lived closer to each other.  She called me while we were in the waiting room, bubbling with excitement to have us on her docket in the recovery room.  I showed her the long version of the bell-ringing video (Link included at the top of this entry), and then Becki, another fave nurse, bounded over to give us hugs.  I replayed the video for her, Lulu still asleep between us, and she couldn’t stop the tears from continuing to roll down her instantly wet cheeks.  It made me count our blessings once more, that we’ve had such amazing care at Children’s Hospital, that so many nurses and doctors care so much for each of their patients, and have really become a part of our lives.  That was clear form the turnout at the bell-ringing too, seeing so many caregivers take the time to attend, watching them cast their eyes down as they shed tears of relief and joy for their special patient as the bell rang out.

We realized how powerful this moment must be for them, as well as for us.  As many times as we’ve been to that hospital and clinic, I only remember ONE other bell-ringing ceremony.  That’s a shame.  I’m sure the doctors and nurses don’t experience this powerful full-circle moment enough either, especially those that work on the H.O.T. unit, ICU, or other wings of the hospital.  I’m so grateful to have this special video to share with them, and others, to signify this success story and the journey and the hope that it inspires.

As I write this, I think the word that best describes how I’m feeling right now is humbled.  — So grateful to be one of the lucky ones, hoping and praying it holds, and never forgetting all the other children we’ve met along the way that we will continue to fight for.  Thank you all for being a part of this journey, holding us up when we’ve needed it, walking beside us when we’ve needed a hand to hold, catching us when we’ve fallen.  We’ve learned so much about love, the power of a community and how much difference ONE person … or one little girl … can make.

Thank you.

a.l.l. of us

Counting Down!

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One week from today is Lulu’s LAST dose of chemo! 5 days after will be her port removal and hernia surgery. WOW, It’s really almost here. I wish I could report an uneventful week, but never a dull moment ‘round here …

Jimmy got a horrific flu, which was passed on to Max. I’ve never seen either of them that sick before. And why is it that boys can’t seem to hit any sort of receptacle, be it potty training or vomiting? He erupted like a volcano, all over himself and me, in every nook and cranny of the bathroom floors, walls and grout, while I looked over at the view of the pristine toilet. We spent the night on the bathroom floor together – after I cleaned up the first round and he got his rhythm and aim going! He got to be a downright expert, getting lots of practice every 15-30 minutes for over 8 hours.

While that was bad, we knew we had to protect Lu from getting it. Since I was likely exposed and Jimmy was recovering, I stayed home with M. This is one of those times I wish we had an adopt-a-family program. With nowhere else to take her, off she went to a hotel with Daddy for 2 nights. They had a great time though, and Lulu swam like a fish in the pool as often as possible. 4 days later today, Max is back to school, albeit a waifier version of himself. Seriously, the two skinny guys get the flu and here I sit with my extra lbs of what I’m calling ‘stress weight’? What’s the saying, I’m one stomach flu away from my goal weight? Ok, not really worth it… the gym awaits.

The good news is that Lulu is doing really well, and fingers crossed she will not get this flu so she can get through this last leg of treatment and surgery smoothly!!! She just LOVES homeschool. Her favorite subjects are Recess where she plays outside in the snow, Math – on a great app for addition and subtraction, Reading – her favorite book series Ivy and Bean, and P.E. which consists of chasing mommy around the house and scaring each other into screams by flying out from around any hidden corner. Oh, and Lulu told me Jimmy got to ‘sub’ the other day while I was working. I had to chuckle when she told me about her favorite new class called OPEN GYM. Apparently, this was free time, where you can choose whatever you’d like to do; Lulu made art and Daddy took a nap.

Cheers to 3pm March 6th. Keep your ears open for that bell, if you listen closely, you just might be able to hear it!

Love,

a.l.l. of us